Getting things done in Abu Dhabi, UAE

On returning from the Vet's this morning, Moose (the cat) and I entered the roundabout at Shakbout and Delma Streets.

We (Moose and I) were in the middle lane of the three and indicating to turn left. There was a silver Camry in the inside lane also waiting but as they were to my left, I couldn't see any indicators.

In a break in the traffic, my feline companion and I (still indicating) entered the intersection and proceeded - while staying in our lane - to follow the roundabout around to the left.

The Camry decided to accelerate hard and *almost* t- boned me as I was turning, as it was trying to go straight, from the inside lane.
Continues

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As with all countries, all bureaucracy begins and then relies on the quality of its paperwork - and here is no exception. The added degree of difficulty in Abu Dhabi though is that unless you are coming from an Arabic speaking country, you will be requested to get a couple of your hard found documents (See the survival guide) translated into Arabic.

"No Big deal" says I. "I'll just walk around until I find a shop that does it"

So, full of confidence and with suitable walking shoes on, I hit the street and found a store that said "Translations while you wait" or something like it, not 10 minutes from the front door of the hotel.

"HAH!" I said as opened the door to the little shop "Translation done - nothing but internet cafe's and facebook for the rest of the day"

errr.. no. No that's not quite how it ended up.

My 'Concern gland' started to acting up almost immediately, but my inherent politeness got in the way - and I found myself sitting in an under-stuffed couch in a very small office with 2 guys both discussing whether or not they could do it, I think.

Generally speaking, and I may only be doing a little too much free thinking here: If you open a translation business, and advertise that translation business by stating on your front window - in English - that you do translations, then - call me old fashioned if you will, dear reader - surely it shouldn't be too much of a stretch to hope that I would get some, TRANSLATION done when I stride smiling through your door.

After 20 minutes of talking, 10 minutes of waiting for "the other guy" to get back from doing whatever he was doing, then 5 minutes of "other guy" politely but sternly informing his co-workers that he too wasn't really able to help, I left.

Not before enjoying some fun conversation about who I was and where I was from, and a couple of helpful hints for my pronunciation of my limited Arabic vocabulary - tips I am still grateful for to this day.

Turns out that while they COULD translate - they couldn't translate to legal specifications, and that I should try to find someone who could.

I decided to scratch my internet itch AND restore my confident strut by telling myself that I needed to do some "research", and that research required my finding an internet cafe and availing myself of their coffee making facilities.

I did both.

Then got sucked into the email-facetube-"where does this link go" vortex for 2 hours.

I struggled back the point of the "research" (which I intend to do with this post shortly as well) by asking an online forum where a good legal translator could be found.

The response?

Hamdan St.

That would have been perfectly helpful if Hamdan street was 300 metres long - but it's not, it's one of the main roads across the business section of the island.

I rephrased my question to "Where in Hamdan Street is best for document translation"
"Near the hospital" was the short but only slightly more helpful reply - there are many hospitals spread over a long-ish distance on Hamdan.

My third try (while restraining myself from napalming the forum with frustrated rantings) requested information on which specific hospital the translators may be located near, and somehow I managed to keep my famous dislike of obtuse forum junkies from colouring my post... a feet in itself.

The answer?

Al Noor hospital.

Al Noor.

6 letters that would have helped out in the initial reply, and if coupled with the term "near" would have made a total of 10 extra letters, or 12 keystrokes if you include the spaces. Unfortunately some information needs to be cajoled from the keepers of the keys - like some kind of "ex-pat initiation rite" that stops new ex-pats from forgetting their place.

Can't let 'them' (new arrivals) have it easy now can we? NO they must fall dishevelled and broken at the feet of the oracles, awaiting the scraps of knowledge that fall from their mouths. Once each scrap is acquired the apprentice scrabbles off to a darkened corner to worship each new piece. Some of these acolytes go on to farm and share their crop.. others take the dark path, and in time rule their own plot, and ask tribute from passers by before offering the scraps from their own festive board... laughing in the darkness of their empty halls...mwaahahahahahhaaaa haaaaaaa haaaaaaaah *cough* haaaaah haaah.

ooops .. a patented Abudhabilist digression... back to the point.

Al Noor hospital is off Hamdan Street, between 4th and 2nd streets on the "sea" side of Hamdan. The turn off for Al Noor is the first on the right after 4th, or if you are coming from the other side of 2nd, do a U turn at the lights at 4th, then take the first right.

OR even easier is to hop in a cab and ask them to deliver you to Al Noor hospital (or in Arabic: Mustashfa Al Noor, Hamdan) and you'll be dropped at the front door.

While I know that this is a long winded description of how to get to the area.. once at the door of the hospital it's easy.

The hospital entrance is situated on a T intersection, so if facing the entrance turn around, and keeping the Al Noor at your back head on up the short road that leads back to Hamdan St.

There are a few legal-spec translators on this little street, but the one we used is Linguist House - and can be found (if walking away from the hospital) on the left side, across the road and up a bit from Al Yousef Bakery (worth a trip while you are waiting - or even if you are not) and is situated next to Al Noor translating service, in fact at a glance it looks like it could be the same place.

Driving licences and Short documents are usually - USUALLY - done on a while you wait basis, and if that's the case it's a good excuse to go and grab a tasty treat from the bakery across the road.

HOWEVER if they can't do it while you wait don't get all fruity about it - and for the love of everything that's good don't try negotiating with the fine people behind the counter by suggesting that some bald headed blogger said that stuff absolutely and categorically gets translated while you wait.

For 2 reasons (apart from the issue of looking foolish)

1: It's highly unlikely that they will have a clue who I am.

2: Acting all uppity is the easiest way to PROLONG an ultimately negative result rather than promote a positive one.

Larger documents usually take a day to translate - or at least that was what my wife was told when dropping off a marriage certificate. It actually took about 6 hours, from drop off to phone call - which was a pleasant surprise.

SO, no matter what the document you need translated is, it's best to allow a day and be surprised than expect an hour and be all antsy about it.

Even better, get all the stuff you could possibly need to get translated within the first few days of arriving so that when required, the documents will be copied and ready to roll, leaving the document holder taking a trip to the main street of Smug-ville, where coffee is plentiful (although somewhat crap) and angels sing as they take flight though the hazy morning light.

There are MANY other translation services in Abu Dhabi - but this is the one WE used and the one we continue to employ when we have a need.
All our documents thus far have not exceeded 80dhs - but ask for a quote.

Contact details for Linguist house can be found at www.linguisthouse.com

In order to get our residency completed, the government agencies require that there is some kind of proof that we, as prospective citizens, weren't bringing the pox or the plague, or.. or.. COOTIES to this fine land.

We passed, or they didn't do the right tests...

We went on separate days - and weeks apart as it took a little longer to get my documents organised, but it seems that while Karma hit the ladies line and sailed through - me being of the blokey persuasion meant that I had a couple more hoops to jump through.

Now, this is not a procedure you need to go through for visit visa's - this is purely to finalise your residency status. The procedures involved are pretty straight forward - it's getting from the waiting room to procedure rooms that's the fun bit.

I'll ask Karma what her experience was and put in a separate post, but from what I can gather she had angels sing and winged cherubs guiding her about the place in comparison to the men folk.

We were both tested at the same facility - Karma because that is where the company sent her, and me because Karma knew where it was, and that it was easily reached by bus.

I'd been forewarned by some of Karma's work mates that I need to take a large book and write off the entire day, which was fine for me, I was only skipping out on dishes and floor sweeping anyway. I would have held a household staff meeting in the way in the bus, but I am tired of people looking at me while I chastise myself for sub-par house work, or complaining bitterly (again to, and about myself) that the sweeping guy didn't do a good enough job, which put the mopping guy back 10 minutes.

The facility is called, charmingly- "The Disease Prevention and Screening Centre" and is located just off the corner of Airport Road and Bateen.

Where? Just get in a cab and ask them to take you to Al Wahda Mall, which is on the corner diagonally opposite where you wish to be. Cross carefully at the lights then walk away from Al Wahda mall for about 100 metres and there you are.

Do the same if you are travelling in under your own steam then utilise Al Wahda's underground parking rather than try and squeeze in to the unusually organised carpark at the front of the medical facility. It also makes for a good excuse to imbibe in some post testing retail therapy OR coffee, or the fabulous LuLu Hypermarket that is located in Al Wahda's lower floors.

I confess I got up a little later than I had planned, this became more concerning the closer I got to the Screening Centre. The the amount of traffic in and out of the door made it look like it was the entry to a very large and very busy ants nest. As many people were trying to get out as get in, but I employed my usual tactic of stepping into the flow of the line and just let it carry me toward where I wanted to go.

The added degree of difficulty on this particular day was that apart from "through the door", my destination in typical Abu Dhabi fashion, was a vague point somewhere inside the building.

I'm big on lines, not because I am a stickler for order (long time readers of this blog will attest to that), but because for the most part if you don't know where you are going, if you stand in a line you at least appear to know where you are.

Just inside the doors the progress of the "Disease and Screening Centre conga line" was hampered by another line that had developed crossing it's path. I stepped out of my current queue and leapt into the flow of this new line, and that was where progress slowed, things became a little more orderly and I was relatively comfortable that I was heading in the right direction.

We were being funnelled along the front of a long desk which is situated immediately inside and to the right of the entry doors.
4 Guys behind the desk.
First guy is sitting on the desk talking to second guy who is seated in a chair, may have been a discussion about the weekend as they seemed to be enjoying themselves.
Third guy - talking on mobile phone.
Last guy - doing the work of 4 guys.

While waiting for Last Guy to finish what he was doing with the stack of other guys ahead of me in line, I looked through the next set of glass doors and into the huge waiting room, complete with numbering system and announcements every 2 seconds or so telling the folk waiting what number is being summoned to which counter.

I naturally figured that was what Last Guy was doing as he was tutt-tutting over paper work and jamming a sticker, peeled from an ever lengthening roll of sticker backing, on the top of each document he had thrust at him - I thought that HE was allocating the numbers.

I felt that warm feeling of smugness creeping over me again - I'd sorted it out, not problem, I am the ex-pat king.

No - no I hadn't, sorted it out that is.

For the record: the paperwork I required was a copy of my passport (photo page) and a copy of the A4 sized visa certificate - all this is stated in the document on the Government Portal -check with your work people though to be sure though as it seems that these rule can change from day to day, OR person to person, and then change back just as quickly.

I smiled at Last Guy when it was finally my turn and handed over the required bits of paper. He kind of smiled back and responded well to me saying good morning in Arabic, whacked the stamp on the top sheet and waved me away...

...toward the waiting room was my guess, I mean - I HAD the number didn't I... on closer inspection the sticker simply said 11.00am. It was 10.15. Was that my appointment time? I decided to test the water in the next room.

As I moved into the waiting room I walked smack into another line (I've already explained my appreciation of lines, so I won't go on about it) and waited dutifully for it to move toward the little desk - again following the "immediately inside and to the right" theme. I had hopes for the this desk - as there was only one person working at it, and as a result that one person didn't appear to be making noises about doing the work of 4, she simply got on with it.

The queue moved slowly, but I must have had my "I think I'm in the right place, but am not sure so I'll just stand here looking smug" face on. A guy who's job it was to wrangle the people coming in to the waiting room away from the doorway took it upon himself to make sure that the large bald bloke standing in his doorway actually needed to be there. I didn't it turns out, and I love this next bit - truly.

He told me that the sticker on the top of my paperwork denoted that I had to come back at 11am to line up for a ticket.

Yes. I had essentially lined up for a ticket, that permitted me to line up for a ticket, but at a later time.

Wrangler Guy looked a little strangely at me when I started to laugh, then joined in with my obvious good humour about the situation. Or he thought I might be a little soft in the head. Or both.

I left, pushing against the tide of folk coming into the room. I crossed the foyer to the little cafeteria and purchased a tea and a water for about 5dhs and headed outside to wait.

There is a well kept piece of grass separating Bateen Rd and the Screening centre, with some big palms providing shade and sat down next to a group of labourers and enjoyed the April day.

30 minutes shot by - all a bit pleasant really, then back to line up for my ticket.

It seemed a little quieter at 11am than when I had arrived earlier, so if I were to do it again MAYBE it would be a better to show up later in the morning. Most of the people waiting were labourers, and I guess that the view taken by their employment companies was to get them in and processed early so that they could get back to work.

I got my number and settled in for the wait - about an hour, but had come armed with a book, so no big deal. EXCEPT for the constant noise of the numbers being called by one of those automated "number 123 please go to counter 123" voices blazing away every 5 seconds - first in English then Arabic.

I stood and moved to the aisle with about 5 numbers to go - and got myself primed for the stride up to the counter. After all this time waiting I didn't want to be relegated to the back of the queue again... I mean I like the idea of lining up to get a ticket, to get a ticket, but as an experience to be had infrequently - NOT twice in 1 day.

The person behind the counter was super efficient, and had my papers processed in no time at all. Upon sitting though I noticed that there was a camera pointed at me and situated at about face height in the cubicle. I figured that at some point I'd be asked to stare at the camera for a mug shot, so I was a bit surprised after handing over the requested 250dhs that she handed me a card and a docket and pointed me in the direction of the testing rooms.

I don't have the document anymore as it went to the Visa folk, otherwise I'd pop a copy of it up here. It seems that the photo on it was taken just as I was sitting down at the desk - I wasn't even looking at the camera! Hah! Again, whatever works, I'm happy with.

The testing was really straight forward - in for a quick discussion with the Doctor - he was most interested that I was from Australia, and wished me a Happy Easter. Then to the blood room where a vial of blood was taken, and last but not least - the chest x-ray.

There were about 5 of us in the ante room inside the x-ray room door. A gruff and dishevelled guy told me to take of my shirt and line up, which I did... I wanted to discuss my affection for lines but thought better of it. In hindsight he could have been Last (from the front desk) Guy's brother.

The x-ray is done standing with ones arms around a movable x-ray pad, fine for me.. Gruff Guy just lifted the pad up to the required height (I was the tallest person in the ante room), NOT fine for the poor guy immediately after me... he was maybe a foot (30cms) shorter, and no one had thought to lower the pad for him.

The giggling began in the control room and spread to the changing room as we all turned our attention to the poor dude. He was all but hanging off the x-ray machine trying to get up high enough for the required chest shot. One shot had already been taken. Of His head. He looked a little shame faced - but in his defence he was only doing what he was told to do by Gruff Guy. It's just that Gruffy G wasn't looking at where he was pointing the guy to go.

Gruffy dropped the pad to a respectable height, allowing the new guy to have his proper x-ray done. A bit of good natured patting on the shoulder by the rest of his group ensued, this seemed to put New Guy at ease though... I grinned at him and gave him the thumbs up, he returned the grin then looked at his feet, still smiling though so I'm sure he'll live.

Gruff Guy handed me my card with all the boxes now ticked on it and said "Tomorrow, after 6pm" and then turned back to misdirecting poor unsuspecting x-ray participants. This instruction I took to mean "Your test results will be available tomorrow after 6pm, please bring this card with you to claim them". Amazing how much information comes from such a short sentence. That and a little cross referencing with Karma as to how the experience was likely to go assisted in the translation as well.

I did indeed return the following day, at 6pm.

I almost left to check the sign at the front of the building to confirm that it was actually the same place, only about 20 people in attendance at that time - and 15 of those were staff.

Went into the now all but empty waiting room and, as a new experience, went for the desk immediately inside and to the LEFT of the waiting room doors. Handed my card over and that was it.

All that was left was to hand these new docs and my passport over to Karma's PRO for the final procedures. Ooooh yes... residency was so close I could smell the shisha!

End note:
It will take time to get this procedure done, so don't make any other solid plans for the day. Just go with the flow, and you'll feel better for it. I keep on saying to myself (and others) "You can do this easy, or you can do this hard". It really is up to the individual as to how stressed they want to be.

Making other plans that you absolutely have to attend to is only inviting the bureaucracy gods to smite the with a longer wait. Far better to clear the day, and make some spontaneous plans if you get out early.

Go into any good bookshop and you'll find a stack of tomes dedicated to other countries, you may even find a couple of phrase books while you are ferreting around in the same section.
Most things that you pick up to read about Abu Dhabi are usually pretty good, but what if you (like us) have decided to MOVE not just VISIT this fine emirate?

A guide to cheap hotels is fine - a guide to life here is even better.

We picked up a few books, and borrowed a few more and found that alot of them are strong on advertising and light on any new information..

Abu Dhabi Explorer is the exception - it's a cracker, and we would have been lost without it, it's available all over the place here in AD, but if you want to be ahead of the game when you arrive, you can purchase them from all large bookstores in other countries.

Really, I wish we had purchased this one first, as it's the only book we constantly refer back, the others do nothing but take up space in the bookshelf.

I've included 2 links for each of the AMAZON sites - one is the just released, fresh off the press, ink still drying version that will be available shortly, the other is the version that we have faithfully thumbed through for the last year. I really recommend getting the 2009 edition (for obvious reasons) BUT if you want to get a feel for what the book is like, the 2008 edition can be purchased relatively cheaply through the other link.

UK readers:
2009 edition - - - - - 2008 edition.

US and Worldwide folk:
2009 edition - - - - - 2008 edition.

Language.

Another book that has helped us alot is "Gulf Arabic" - it was first published in 2001 and has had multiple reprints since, I'll bang on about it more when I have completed the languages post - but it's a good one. The link I've provided below is the edition that includes the partner CD to help out with pronunciation etc. Just whack it in the CD player of your car, and away you go.

Gulf Arabic is good resource book, because it refers to localised colloquialisms and subtleties that are easy to miss, or not included in generic Arabic language learning programs (see language post). Short but useful dictionary, and deals with the key element of any language - how to be polite.

UK Site

USA - Worldwide

We waited for as long as we could to get a feel for the way the traffic flows, and sat in the front of taxi's to get our heads around the steering wheel being on the opposite side to where we were used to. Then we made other excuses: too hot, cold, early, late - finally we took the plunge.

It didn't hurt a bit.

I guess it depends on your own experiences how you respond to the fracas of driving here in Abu Dhabi. Coming from Australia though it was a very steep learning curve.
Particularly when we were used to minor road faux pas (like indicating a little late) that resulted in varying degrees of "interactions" between drivers. "Interactions" that ranged from passive aggression to outright tyre-lever-window-breaking-drag-people-out-of-the-car kind of aggression.

Here it at first feels like a free-for-all. Speed limits initially appear to be uniformly ignored or used only as a guide, threats of fines for illegal parking go mostly unheeded, and the indicator on a car is just an interesting flashing light that few are interested in finding the use of.

The trick, we were told, was to hire a car and head out on a Friday morning, because it's the most religious day of the week and nothing is open so people have far less reason to be out on the road going anywhere. Being the ever-vigilant researcher that I am, I was stunned on our first Friday in the country that this is very much the case.

I conducted my research by standing at the window of the hotel we were staying in and looking along the road in front of Abu Dhabi mall - - usually with a hot beverage in my hand.
For the first week I just couldn't believe that traffic could be so loud, and chaotic and yet still move at any great pace. We arrived on the Saturday, and the working week begins on Sunday here in the UAE so I got a good 6 days of pondering in before Friday's alleged contrast - initial impressions didn't leave me hopeful.

We got up late that first Friday, went for breakfast as usual. On my return I showered and furnished myself with a cup of coffee, and then strode up to my research post at the window.

Now I am not about to say that there were tumbleweeds blowing along the deserted 6 lane street, nor will I suggest that saloon doors were creaking on their hinges, or that a lone flamenco guitarist was playing on the stoop of the store across the road.

But there was DEFINITELY less traffic.. a whole lot less. Surprisingly less. Seriously less.

While we weren't yet brave enough to hire a car at that stage - it did give us hope.

Yes, hope. Hope that we could ease our way in to things. Get used to driving on the opposite side of the car on the opposite side of the road. Friday would be a GREAT day to hire a car.

I picked our first hire car up the following Tuesday. At peak hour.

Karma organised it (obviously), and with much trepidation I got in the little Toyota Corolla, and proceeded to sit for a while in the car park of the car-rental place. That the staff staring out through the large glass doors at the guy who had just hired one of their cars were at first a little amused. Then the pointing started, and the thought that one of them was going to come out to attend to me (and thus discover that I was indeed hopeless) spurred me on to starting the car, and driving off...

... and into the traffic, to pick up Karma from her workplace. A destination that for me at that time was completely in the "concept stage". In my home country, I can pretty much stand anywhere and point to the north. I just can. HERE though, in the wilds of Abu Dhabi, I am utterly at a loss. You could point at your feet and tell me that that was north and I'd have to believe you, because that would at least be definitive. I just don't have a clue.

SO, my internal compass being on the blink, combined with driving a car that had a steering wheel where I'm usually sitting as a passenger, in traffic that was like an angry animal, made for a VERY interesting first go at driving on Abu Dhabi's roads.

Karma has a knack for such things. As she got in the car I thanked her (through clenched teeth) for organising the car for such a time, she responded with here usual sweet smile and said "oops"... I gritted my teeth a little more and added "at least it's not a manual, that would be even more confusing" a week later Karma phoned up for the Van in the "Ikea adventure" (see post) ... guess what? Out of the 2 vans available - one automatic and one manual - GUESS which one she booked. I have always driven a manual - and by that stage it wasn't such a big deal. Nonetheless I am secretly suspicious that she did it on purpose!

The following are things that I think are a must when driving on Abu Dhabi's roads - please feel free to add to them in the comment section.

First and foremost, and this is not a negotiable thing: DO NOT, no matter how dangerous or reckless you think the other driver has behaved, DO NOT use any hand gestures that could be considered rude.
This is an offence, and a bad one. "Prison" bad. I know... it sounds ridiculous, but truly, keep your hands on the wheel. Suck it up, and move into the slow lane. Think about Puppies or kittens or whatever, but breathe through it, and don't retaliate.

Drive in the middle lane, the fast lane has issues with low flying BMW 7 series or massive American SUVs appearing out of nowhere, flashing lights and utilising their horns, the slow one has it's own quirks with cars turning into and out of them (no indication of course), or stopping, or driving slowly, or full of busses, road-workers, cleaners etc...The middle lane is fine.. stay in it as much as possible.

If you see a car that's indicating - it doesn't always mean it's going to turn.

If you see a car that isn't indicating - it doesn't mean it's NOT going to turn.

Being right is less important than being safe - be responsible for your own safety, and drive accordingly.

Don't let your own driving skills slip to the level that's often displayed here. Be courteous, and indicate and MAYBE we can get things changed by example, one expat at a time. (That's what I am clinging to anyway - it's rough being an optimist.)

There are alot more, feel free to add your own!

Don't let this post scare you away from driving here in Abu Dhabi - it's actually kind of fun, and don't take things to heart OR too seriously (apart from your safety) and everything will be fine. The reality is that EVERY capital city in the world has it's traffic quirks. Most can be attributed to local knowledge and as a result new drivers can feel a little overwhelmed.

If you make a mistake it'll be okay - you will get honked at here whether you are right, wrong, (or not even there on occasion) - but there is a difference in intent here. The horn is used more like a conversation thing rather than an aggressive one in most cases. Almost like a bat's sonar... "Honk - I'm over here", "Honk - no, over here" etc. etc.

When it comes to driving... jump on in with confidence, the water is fine.